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would again. And maybe that was best.
The phone rang just then. I glanced at the caller ID display. It was Alex. Was I ready to
talk to her yet or was even that too much right now? I let it ring again while I decided.
I put the ringing phone on the railing and took another sip of lime and tequila. Maybe
tomorrow. Right now, I was out of energy.
Another long sigh from Gran punctuated the final ring before the call went to voice
mail.  Baby, you need to accept that people aren t perfect. They make mistakes. And
when they do, you have to forgive them. And you need to forgive yourself, too. Maybe that
most of all.
 I m not sure I can. I did . . . things. I hadn t told her about most of what had happened
in the desert. I hadn t wanted to burden her, for one thing. But I was still ashamed. What
Eirene and I did to those men was horrible. I hadn t even tried to check on them. I was
afraid of what I d find out. I m not normally that chicken, but there are some things a
person is better off not knowing. Besides, my only contact to that crew was Kevin. I did
find it rather ominous that I hadn t heard so much as a peep on the news. Or from the
police. Another good reason not to answer phones.
I may not have told her what had happened, but my gran is no fool. She gave me a
penetrating look, speaking slowly, choosing her words very carefully.  You did things.
Maybe terrible things. But you are not a bad person. I know that to my very soul. You did
what you had to do to survive. You defended yourself and you saved Emma Landingham.
God knows there s evil in this world. I ve seen it. You ve seen it.
No shit, I d seen evil. Unfortunately, I probably would again. Creede and Bruno couldn t
find the summoning disk. Had someone taken it during the confusion, or had it buried
itself so as not to be found until at the right time?
A shudder overtook me as Gran continued,  But you re not evil, Celie. Give it time. It ll
get better if you let it. But you ve got to forgive yourself, learn what you can from it, and let
it go. She let out a deep sigh and it was enough to break my heart.  Because life
doesn t stop, baby. Not for you, not for anybody. And that s a fact.
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